Robin Hood

I need to stop being such a devious bitch. Not in a horrible, nasty sort of way, in a Robin Hood - Take from the rich sort of thing. 

In the past two days I have been on a mission of mayhem.

Fact: Someone on FB changed their profile picture to writing which said "Im coming off FB, I don't care whether you got fat or had a kid. Here's my number: xxxxx I'm still on Twitter" - What an absolute TWAT. I have taken it upon myself to prank call him from work. He's also in a different time zone which makes things 100% better. NO ONE acknowledges that I have gained weight and gets away with it. 

Fact: Someone has been sending nasty text's to my friend for no reason. a) I have added said person to the prank call list and b) I have spread a rumour, which may I add is spreading like wild fire, that said person is a gypsy. People are totally buying this rumour. 

Fact: My friend got a valentines day card from someone. She thought it was from me. I don't have a clue who it was from but played the game of how I knew all about it. No one gets James Bond on my ass. I'm the only detective round here. 

I can't believe I am a grown up with a job, mortgage and responsibilities. I shouldn't be behaving like this.